Carolyn Grisold is working towards her Master of Arts - Integrated Studies degree at Athabasca University. Carolyn received a Bilingual (French/English) Bachelor of Arts with Honours in English and Philosophy minor from Glendon College, York University's French campus in Toronto, and a post-graduate Certificate in Creative Writing from the Humber School of Writers at Humber College. Carolyn currently lives in Toronto and works as a writer.

This poem was composed as a result of Reinekke Lengelle’s MAIS 616 Writing The Self reflexive writing exercises, using propioceptive techniques as a tool in journalling. It is about questioning long-held beliefs and examining who you would be without your “story.”

“If Healed”

What does it mean to be saved?
What if you were drowning for 20 years
Only to discover you were always
In the shallow end
And if you put your foot down
You could have touched
The ground all along?
What happens then to those 20 years
Of struggle and fear
Of drowning?
Vain in hindsight
But at the time so important.
Which is more real — the fear or the fact?
What matters most —
The moment or the memory —
When the moment lasts an instant
But the memory goes on?
Which feelings do you trust?
What is the one thing in your life that,
If healed,
Would change everything?